Fred was an internet fraudster. He had made over $100,000 scamming people over the internet. When he was finally caught and asked why he resorted to crime, his response was, “I graduated with a second-class upper degree but could not get a job. A friend I stayed with asked me to leave his house after feeding me for 6 months. I had to survive. What else could I do but resort to internet fraud”
This may seem like a genuine reason until you hear Henry’s story.
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Henry runs a successful technology company with about 25 employees. His business generates over one million dollars in annual revenue. When asked how he came about his business, his response was, “I graduated with a second class upper degree but could not get a job. A friend I stayed with asked me to leave his house after feeding me for 6 months. I had to survive. So I started learning programming language and taking up freelance jobs as a software developer. My business grew from there.”
From these two short stories, you can see that the same circumstances led both Fred and Henry to take different paths. If you ask an average criminal and a successful person how they ended up where they did, most often, you will find that what motivated them are usually similar circumstances.
So why do some people make positive decisions while others make negative decisions in the face of adversity? This is usually because of mental toughness or lack of it. Resilience, perseverance, and self-discipline; are some of the attributes of mentally strong people.
Today, we bring you 10 things mentally strong people don’t do. If you want to develop your mental toughness, you should avoid doing these too. By the way, if you are new here, there is a video for what you are about to read. Also, consider subscribing to After School Africa for more insightful videos like it and this one below.
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Let’s get to it..
Table of Contents
1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves
While people like Fred give the reason for the life they choose hoping to appeal to people’s emotions, mentally tough people like Henry don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair. Don’t waste your time looking for people to understand what you are going through and feel pity for you. Instead, accept life for what it is and take positive actions to better your life.
Also read 15 Powerful Life Lessons from 5 African Billionaires for Young People
2. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control
Let’s say you have tried your best to get a job, but the job is not forthcoming. You can decide to blame the system for being hostile to job seekers. And then waste your energy complaining about the government for refusing to create jobs. The only problem is that these are things that you cannot control.
A mentally tough person will rather accept that maybe there is something he or she is not doing right. Maybe there are skills he needs to develop or that she needs to work on her networks. Or like Henry, start a business. These are things that you can control. Mentally strong people recognise that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.
3. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
Oftentimes, young people resort to a negative lifestyle just to please their friends or family. Even when such people make comments like, “I don’t care what people think about me”, they are actually conforming to another group of people.
According to Mahatma Gandhi “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”. Mentally tough people don’t ignore their inner voice, even when it is contrary to what people around them expect of them. They recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. And they’re not afraid to say no and stay true to their purpose.
4. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks
There is a difference between taking a calculated risk and taking a reckless or foolish risk. Resorting to a life of crime is a reckless risk. Deciding to keep aside your excellent academic qualification to start learning a new skill and building a business takes a calculated risk. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.
5. They Don’t Dwell on the Past
“If only I had rich parents.” “If only I had chosen a different course”, and “If only I was not abused” With all due respect to people who have suffered one form of abuse or the other, but these are not statements you hear from mentally strong people.
Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it. However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.
6. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over
Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behaviour and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.
Also read 5 People Who Social Media Ruined Their Career
7. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success
Do you believe rich people are bad? Do you resent other people’s success and wish they were yours? These are not attributes of mentally strong people.
Mentally strong people appreciate, celebrate and are challenged by other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and are willing to keep working hard for their chance at success.
8. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure
Almost every genuinely successful person has experienced several failures. Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.
9. They Don’t Fear Alone Time
Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive. They enjoy their own company and aren’t always dependent on others for companionship and entertainment.
10. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results
It is scientifically proven that children who can delay gratification are more likely to become successful when they grow up. In a world of fast results, where people are not willing to stay and make relationships work, or finish what they start, mental toughness demands perseverance, patience and discipline.
Whether they are working on improving their health, raising a family or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.
Conclusion
In conclusion, mentally strong people don’t wait for life to happen to them. They go out and create the life they want regardless of the circumstances they find themselves.
Before you decide to make a negative decision because of your life experience, remember that someone else going through the same experience is getting inspired and making positive decisions. What’s your take on this video? Let us know in the comment section. If you are yet to subscribe to our channel, this is likely a good time to subscribe. Until next time, YOUR SUCCESS MATTERS!
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